Does Your Partner Determine Your Success?
Happy Monday everyone! Here's to hoping you had a great week that turned into an even greater weekend. A LOT of amazing things coming from me to you, very soon. Here's a recap on the last two weeks. My artist, Terrence Wilde, will be filming his newest video within the month and I am so proud of him and my dancers, my friends, my camp for their work ethic and trust in me--your vibe attracts your tribe. Finally got to link up with Nayip Ramos and work as a movement coach for Universal Music's own Johnny Orlando and Mackenzie Zeigler's new music video collab "What If". Thank you for reaching out and letting me do my thing Nayip. My first workshop 101: Craft 2 Career is in the making and I am losing sleep on this one but couldn't be happier. Big shout out to Kirill and Carla at Pamplona 89 for the support, space and a terrifying push into a big leap and personal goal in my life. 8IGHTY/2WNTY is moving forward; allowing you the tools needed to bring your successes afloat. Updates will be posted soon on @8020creative for when, where and ticket info. Go follow, be on the look out and don't miss this workshop!!!
Time to get a little personal this week. I've been asked questions this month via DM's and emails about success and pushing for greatness. Mostly to the tune of "how do I keep the progress rolling?" or "I've hit a wall, I was doing so good. What should I do?". This is how funny life works; I have friends who are going through relationships right now that could be potentially harmful to their futures. Literally just spoke to them hours ago and helping them through, even though I'm no guru myself. Ambition, empathy, communication, trust and sensitivity--necessary ingredients when trying to find someone to build an empire with and the importance of guarding you energy and mind in the early stages. Then I hop onto Chris Harder's For The Love of Money podcast for my weekly dose of 'go get it' and the episode I listened to was him responding to a reader who DM'd him wanting to know how much of an impact romantic partners play in your future successes. The universe spoke to me--this is the topic of the week.
If I were to roll a soccer ball down a hill, the ball will pick up speed and maintain its course unless something interrupts the process. Typically, it'd be a rock on the ground, in the right place at the right time. A small enough rock could be rolled over with no interruption to the ball but a large rock could bounce the ball uncontrollably down the hill, drastically change its path or even stop the ball dead it its tracks. The hundred words or less version--balls that aren't rolling down hill have no need to watch out for rocks. People who aren't striving for better never hit rocks because they aren't moving. For you, and other soccer balls out there who are on a mission and making progress down the hill of your lives--you have to be aware of the rocks in your way, big or small.
What are the rocks in your life? Are they small enough to roll over or do some of your rocks have to ability to stop you cold in your tracks? In most cases, we don't even realize that many of the issues we face were rocks that we dropped on the climb up during the trials and tests of our lives; rocks we forgot to kick out of the way. One of the biggest rocks you could ever face is your RELATIONSHIPS.
The burning question is...does your partner or relationships determine your success?
If no one else loves and appreciates you, know that I do. You are special, you are worth it and I cannot wait to see you on the top of your mountain taking control of your lives. To our shared accomplishments. Cheers.
You can also comment some topics you'd like to see covered and I'll make sure to add it in. The gift of spreading knowledge and awareness is greatly appreciated.
Okay, get your pencils and notepads ready, time to clock in.
His 2 Cents...
(Click anywhere on the bar to rewind/fast-forward. You're welcome.)
My Take Away..
- Those who you build with MASSIVELY impact your overall success
- The wrong partner can ruin your progress no matter how hard you work
- The key to finding an ideal partner is to know and love yourself
- No one comes perfect or complete as packaged but the right ones will always strive for greatness
Does Your Partner Determine Your Success?
Your relationships MASSIVELY impact your success. The people you spend the most time around and the opinions that matter most to you dictate your actions and your progress. I feel we've all had that friend who was constantly getting in trouble. How many times were you dragged into their bad ideas and sentenced guilty by association? It only makes sense that a partner that you are romantically involved with would have the same influence if not greater. You share time, emotions, finances and energy. Are you sharing your relationship with someone rooted in growth or destruction?
Imagine trying to reach the next level of your business or creative career on the daily. The long hours, bus rides, side hustles, the no's, etc. Then add the cherry on top--coming home to have someone upset that you’re working so hard. Jealous of time spent on your projects, poking fun of your big dreams and goals. Even the strongest of personalities will begin to whither and die. Instead of one battle front, your business—you now have two battle fronts, your career and your relationship. No one can fight two battles successfully at one time. Be careful who you let into your temple and feed off of your energy.
If you have a partner who is aligned with your goals—you have a higher chance of succeeding, BUT just to clarify--you do not have to have a romantic, supportive partner as a pre-requisite for success. You do, however, need partners and they come in many forms—friends, mentors, coaches, your community. For you single, independent, powerful creators out there, you're not out of the clear yet. Apply these very important tell-tale sign towards all of your relationships.
Just because they are great, does not mean they are great for YOU. People can be awesome--amazing even, but the wrong partner at the same time.
For those looking to find the right partner or evaluating your current one, let’s break down what to look for on both sides:
THE RIGHT ONE vs. THE WRONG ONE
The Right One...
Understands the time and hours
Provides support when you worn out and is always in your corner
Adds value to your character, your work and creative point of view
Will celebrate with you when you hit those milestones
Offer up ideas that you haven’t thought of and gives an objective side to your business
Provide right style of accountability that we all need, giving an objective view in a way that you’re able to receive it constructively
The right one will understand how you communicate and take criticism and tailor their response towards you in a manner that you can properly digest. In the long run, they care about how their words affect you and they take action to encourage, motivate and protect your feelings. I do not speak to my mother the same way I speak to my friends, or even a stranger on the street--period. It's because I love her; be aware of how your partner communicates with you versus everyone else in their lives. If there are similarities, you have to ask yourself--am I really different than everyone else? Do I really hold a special place to them?
If a VIP restaurant is open to any and everyone, are the guests that attend still very important people? Is the special attention and respect that they are given still special?
The Wrong One...
Complains about the time and hours spent, accusing you of neglect
Tears you down and paints you as the underdog
Devalues your character, your work and constantly makes you question your worth
Will short change your success; nothing is ever good enough
Will never provide quality input and give an perspective, surface level view of your business
Point fingers at your mistakes and criticize every move you make
Can literally ruin, sabotage and crush your success no matter how hard you work
Chips away at your mind, confidence and drive
New money, new life--same problems. Foundation matters.
THE WRONG RELATIONSHIP HAS THE ABILITY TO RUIN YOUR SUCCESS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU GRIND. I had to type that out again. A house built on a slant will always have the potential to crumble and slide down the hill, regardless of how much you re-inforce the beams. Watch out for those who believe or show signs of "Part-time Support". There’s no such thing as rowing together and being one foot out of the boat at the same time. Encouraging and supportive while simultaneously being disconcerting and repressive. They’re either full time or not. Part-timers will always be clocked in on something or somewhere else; after all--we're all trying to build out here.
What do YOU need to fix?
I'm at a point in my life where I'm not in the mode of sport dating. It's time-consuming, expensive, taxing on the mind and emotions and just plain counter-productive. I'll be turning thirty this September and I am due for an upgrade to my life. My thought process is not solely on finding my wife and life partner--before I can even pick up the right signals, I need to re-calibrate my instrument--me.
I realize that there are generational issues within my family that have had lasting issues in my life. I realize that they will be inherited by my future wife and my children unless I take responsibility and prevent them so I am on a mission to deal with myself and cleanse everything within. That includes my absent father, my past relationships both romantic and platonic, even my bad habits. My rocks will not be the reason my soccer ball falls off track or stops rolling. You are in control of how you shape your destiny and your future. Like Preston Smiley says "The universe responds to your frequency".
What attracts The Wrong One to you?
Emotional baggage from past experiences?
A need to fill a gap in your life or give abundantly what you never received?
The need for acceptance, love, appreciation?
Do you see in that person, who you used to be and are drawn to lead them to the light?
Awareness is everything guys. Know why you attract who you do and make changes in your life to locate quality people and relationships that bring positive, long-lasting effects.
Where do you find this partner for success?
Chris says in this podcast, he didn't find the perfect partner starting off. In fact, he was far from ideal himself when he and his wife first met. Where is your partner for success? They are located a couple thousand miles away from your "ideal" and "perfect" idea who they are and what they look like. They aren't complete as packaged but the right ones will always strive for greatness.
Be on the lookout for:
Someone with big goals and dreams out loud, who loves spending time talking about what they want to accomplish and then pushes for those goals.
You both have to be willing to try each other’s ideas on for size. Two heads are always better than one when the mindset is aligned.
Committed to open and consistent communication. That means giving each other permission and to be objective, not subjective. Allowing yourself to be held accountable while still encouraging each other.
An Ambitious soul
Strive for equal levels of ambition and passion. While your partner's goals don’t have to be the same as yours, the understanding of each other's ambition is key. Having ambition of their own in a certain part of their life allows them to “get it”.